I‘m pregnant. My boyfriend told me to get an abortion. I don’t want to. He called me stupid and said I was ruining his life. I ran into him and his squad last night. He started shouting, calling me a “stupid bitch.” He kept texting me, saying that I cheated and he has proof. I didn’t. I’m 19 and he’s the only guy I’ve been with. I live with my grandmother and I haven’t told her anything. I don’t know what to do.
Let him go. He isn’t worthy of you. Anyone who discovers unexpectedly that he or she is a parent might initially respond with surprise or fear, instead of joy and excitement—that\’s understandable. But your ex-boyfriend\’s verbal attacks are not acceptable. The law is on your side. A paternity test can prove his parentage. And, if he continues to harass you, file an online police report. Starting paper trail now can protect you in the future.
Most importantly, take advantage of resources at Planned Parenthood or a pregnancy center where you can meet with a counselor. You need to speak freely with a trained professional who can guide you through your decision-making process, including how to break the news to your grandmother.
I know that this must be a scary time for you, but trust that help is available in your community. If you choose to keep your baby, know that it is definitely possible for an 19-year-old to successfully raise a child and that it will be more difficult than you can imagine. You will need tremendous support from your family and community. Don\’t be too proud to accept other people\’s generosity. You might ultimately choose to put your baby up for adoption or to end your pregnancy. Whatever you decide, let yourself make the choice out of love, not fear.
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Joey Garcia has taught relationship education courses to teens and adults. She is a life coach, newspaper advice columnist and the Relationship Expert for KTXL-TV.
