My Boyfriend is Suicidal

Dear Joey, I fell in love with the foreign exchange student my family hosted last year. He’s back home, and I miss him so much. We SKYPE, but it’s not the same. The problem is that he’s depressed and says if we can’t be together, he will kill himself. I can’t imagine my life without him, and when he talks about killing himself, it scares me. I am trying to convince my parents to let me visit him next summer but that’s not going well. My grades are dropping because I’ve been so worried about him, and because I’m not sleeping (there’s a huge time difference between our countries). We’re both 17 years old. Any suggestions? Take a step back and view the situation from a fresh perspective. Your boyfriend threatens to kill himself if he can\’t see you. Does that sound like someone you should travel thousands of miles to hang out with? He’s not actually in love at the moment, he’s in need of professional help, so nothing you say or do will remove his pain. He is struggling with serious mental health concerns and should see a psychiatrist immediately. If you want to help him, tell your parents that he is suicidal and ask them to contact his parents. If they refuse to get involved, insist. Or contact the organization that fostered the foreign exchange. If that doesn\’t work, contact his parents yourself. By taking action you are helping your boyfriend grow into a stronger, more balanced version of himself. In the process, you\’re recognizing your limitations—you can\’t heal him or solve his problems. You can take better care of yourself, though, and alerting adults to your boyfriend\’s situation is one way to love yourself, and him. ©JoeyGarcia. All Rights Reserved. Joey Garcia coaches teens and adults to find their voice and fulfill their purpose. For more than 25 years, she has written a relationship advice column for a weekly newspaper. She is also the Relationship Expert for KTXL-TV. See her in \”The Cure,\” a documentary featuring healers from around the world.